Klash of the Konfessioners

January 1, 2011

Ephemeral

Filed under: Uncategorized — The Musketeers @ 12:50 am
–adjective
1.lasting a very short time; short-lived; transitory: the ephemeral joys of childhood.
2.lasting but one day: an ephemeral flower.

–noun 3.anything short-lived, as certain insects.

(Closed for takes; Open for Komments)


NM (113)

Standing in the stark spotlight there was an unmistakable tear in his eye,
They all applauded knowing it was what he did best, he could easily fake a cry…
Looking from afar, his auteur knew something was clearly amiss…
It was too good, too real, too scary to simply dismiss…
After the take he walked up to him and asked him if he was really weeping,
He managed a smile and a half, and said, my mother is dying…
“You could’ve taken the day off, hell, we could’ve not shot at all, this is unfair…”
“Nothing would cure me than a veil to cry, and then this pain is ephemeral, film is forever”.

DayTripper(87)

She takes off her rose tinted glasses,
reality gushes in on her dreams.
Swirling and swooshing around her,
as the fresh moisture tracks on her cheeks gleam.

A knot in her chest and a lump in her throat,
she stumbles around the room.
Clutching at the bits of, now black & white smiles,
and that lone whisky voice that crooned.

Dreams she dreamt day and night,
“Dreams do come true”, she said.
But this special dream that she held so tight,
was caught in an ephemeral web.

Kshitij Agnihotri (106)

Rocking in the creaking wooden chair
Wind blowing strands of her silver hair
She sat there staring at the deep blue sea
Arrogant waves offering her an apology
Her wrinkled eyes catching a lady in white gown
With open arms provoking the waves to take her down
Cracks appeared as a smile lit her wrinkled face
Old memories of the ephemeral time gave her an embrace
Like a gust of hot wind blowing through this cold November evening
Memories of Old times when she could fly while singing
“GrandMa” a voice called, a sigh escaped her breath
She used her crutches putting her thoughts to death

mystical mortal (118)

Tucked comfortably in my bed, a chill slithers inside like the breeze outside.
Since the time I walked out of office today, I am a retired bloke.
The memories, flashing feel like watching a slide show of photographs in an old dilapidated theatre.
My untiring endurance and sartorial elegance to the lines on face and ruffled grey hair,
The whispers in the night while making love to the struggle to howl for a glass of water ,
Getting high on weed at Robin’s to the daily morning shots of Insulin,
The shrieks of the kids playing all around, to the awareness of the lull that surrounds.
The confusion, whether to celebrate or lament this ephemeral life, annoys me….

Utsav (102)

Went out the road less taken,
Through the woods I searched for life.
The path confused the answers subdued, to
What is ephemeral in this life.

I asked the fire, I asked the winds,
I asked whoever was high and rife.
A lot hustle, a lot of rustle, but none knew
What is ephemeral in this life.

Time, feelings, fear, love,
So many thoughts at strife.
Even the oldest scrolls couldn’t answer,
What is ephemeral in this life.

Dismayed and disheartened by failure,
I walked behind my own funeral.
At last passed my tombstone that read,
“Stop looking… Life itself is ephemeral.”

Richa Gupta (48)

Fluttering eyelids
A smile
So near
So far
Larger than life
Rainbow colors
Black and white
Shadows
Flitting in and out
Fragile
Incandescent
So real
Throbbing
A tremor
Ecstasy
Reaching out
Lazy sun
Stray beam
Caressing softly
The new day
So very real
The broken dream
So ephemeral

Sprinkles Of Chatter(118)

A frivolous idea floats freely
somewhere atop my head
it serenades me with its lilting tune
leaving the words unsaid

I strain to catch the words
the voice lowers in strength
I grapple with them endlessly
it sounds like a strange strain

It swirls around sublimely
mesmerizing to see
A wispy cottony tendril
lost at the touch of me

i stand fixated by the sides
anticipating another sight
it whooshes past on wiry wings
taunting my unseeing eyes

i reach out to touch it
engulf it in my palm
as I’m about to caress it
a breeze lifts it high

each ephemeral idea
passes me by
an empty sheet stares back at me
as water fills my eyes

Sowmya (111)

Not bridges but will statues build
Declared the lady from the red-lighted car
Forget roads & education
Concentrate on design & formation

Madam, please understand
Wringed an assistant in vain
People want progress and action
Not a finger pointing politician

People do not remember deeds
Masterpieces like these they will come to see
Remember to carve the handbag right, she declared
As she placed a rupee in the begging hands

But spending thousand crores on statues
When millions are going hungry
Madam, will people forgive
Such blatant travesty

Memories are short lived
Structures last longer
Future generations will know our creation
Said the lady looking for immortality in an ephemeral world

Genuine Fake (107)

Far from the madding crowd of the city,
On a park bench sitting balky,
An old man sat singing the blues,
Of worldly actions and virtues…

Of unfathomed love he spoke,
His toughened heart he did uncloak,
For his beloved led him through,
Feelings, oh so difficult to construe…

Her unclouded voice, her mystical eyes,
To her beauty he did remise,
The mirage lasted all but one night,
Moments of which, were, alas… finite.

I see the old man sing ever since,
Of quaint love and its footprints,
A lump in my throat piles onto the visual,
As I listen to … The elegy of the ephemeral.

Jenny (99)

She is an arbitrary number plate sardined on the highway. She is your ‘lost and found’. She is Jose Cuervo: bottoms-up. Now counting pigeons on an electric wire; she’s a tar crusader on the road. She halts at your 5.15 am morning walk; Reebok sprightly steps. Bursts into a haphazardry of neon hair, psychedelic tea frothing at an obscure fountain. By 9 am she is an unpoached egg; viscerally sporting an unfazed cortex. She is camouflaged in the shrubbery of your mind, paying rent, living on page 49; dog-eared and unread. She’s about to begin. See her in fifteen.

DokSaab (120)

Now I realize he was right. Up till now I had no idea, nor did I care. I wasted every second of my existence, awake or asleep, unaware of the transitory nature of Life.
When Swami Ji, at a discourse in our school, told us “Children, Life is Ephemeral, a bubble of water……..” we had laughed.  Life, short! Huh!  This swami was eighty-five and we were just twelve. Still about seventy years to live.  That’s 25550 days! Or 613200 hours of fun, 36792000 minutes, countless seconds to enjoy life.
Now, at eighty, I feel I haven’t even lived properly, and time’s gone. Eighty years and most of my desire remain unfulfilled. Ephemeral life! Slipping away like sand, through my fingers.

Mandappa (115)

An ode to the cat

The last cigarette burns alone
now that you’ve gone
a whiff, your waif-life frame
mellow in your solitude

the clock strikes on
but the feeling is gone
the under-the-blanket melee
lost to a fading memory

the calls fall silent
as the night creeps on
a fleeting glimpse and you’re gone
lost to the verse, dust to dust

you were a gypsy
proud, a scar, a friend
you learnt the ropes to work your way
and be a part of our reality

a fleeting glimpse and now you’re gone
an ephemeral life, dusted and done
there’s no prayer that will save you,
but it’s just one of your nine lives burnt

Apurva Pathak (112)

Dear Manish,

It gets tougher to solve, my confusion! I wish I could be impulsive like always and take a quick decision but I want to be patient and wise. You already know how I feel about Advait. He has always been the one I have wanted but he least cares. And my wants have been challenged because of you. You are nothing less than perfect, but how I wish castes would have been nothing. Yes, I am fickle. Can you help me? I am shamelessly demanding, am I not? How long do I cling to him while he kicks me away and you want me? Why aren’t dilemmas ephemeral? Please revert.

Love

Eesha.

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68 Comments »

  1. “Are you here to receive a family member?” Rafique had asked. “No, one of my friends from India is coming by AI 101.” I said. “Oh! Nice, I’m here to receive my son, Anees. He’ll be going to college this fall.” Rafique said. “Which university is he going to join?” I asked. “Anees is going to Queensborough Community College for the time being, but he’ll transfer to a four year college next year. He had started hanging out with the wrong crowd in his senior year at the High School, but by the grace of Allah he’s come around!” said Rafique. “Great! Congratulations! I hope your son does well at the school.” I said. “Shukriya”, responded Rafique, lifting his right hand in a respectful gesture. Meanwhile, Ravi, my friend from India, emerged from the arrival gate and I had to leave. More than two months had passed since then and here I was at the same airport to receive my wife, who was coming back from India after visiting her parents. By now the aroma of Bigelow’s Earl Grey had reached my nostrils. And I took a sip. Almost instantly a sense of sweet, caffeinated relief started to seep in.

    Comment by Elisa H. Kane — February 12, 2013 @ 2:20 pm

  2. Woah ! i vote for your comment jenny . thank you 🙂
    and i like ur statement : while it dwelt on the nostalgia and the presence of “absence”. cuz that was the source of the piece. i couldnt have put it better:)

    Comment by Malted Socktail — January 31, 2011 @ 1:05 pm

  3. My vote : Mandappa

    Macavity and the caricaturish Prof.Moriarty are so deeply engrained in one’s brain,that imagining a feline form that makes your grey cells purr calls for a paradigm shift.While it dwelt on the nostalgia and the presence of ‘ absence’. The last line almost had a vixen like quality to it, giving the poem a darker hue than one would imagine.I like distortion;so here it is 🙂 Meanwhile you have my vote.

    Comment by Jenny — January 30, 2011 @ 2:04 pm

  4. thank u people… i is humbled …. take that gf 😛
    thank u all so much… it actually gets me all tingly inside. the reason being, this is the first time iv tried to write something for someone, even if it was a cat…. my cat did lose one of its lives a while ago. and there is another interesting story with this particular cat but i ll save that for another time. i m more a dog guy but this cat kinda changed it and im jus really glad i could share that with every one 🙂

    wow that sounds like an oscar speech so i jus have to add
    “i thank me ma and pa. the kreators of klash and the financers of this wonderful award ceremony”
    thanke 😛

    Comment by malted socktail — January 29, 2011 @ 11:37 am

  5. Votes so far:

    1) Mandappa 12 (NM, GF, Sowmya, Lord Summer, Kshitiz, Apurva)
    2) Richa 8 (Mystical Mortal, Daytripper, Mandappa, Utsav)
    3) GF 2 (Sprinkles)
    4) Sowmya 2 (DokSaab)
    5) Sprinkles 2 (Richa)

    Jenny you’ve not voted 😦 but even if you had voted for anyone else, Mandappa has emerged a winner!
    Kongrats!!
    p.s. message us your two word choices, soon.

    Comment by The Musketeers — January 29, 2011 @ 10:37 am

  6. First of all, it was a great experience for me to write a klash and secondly all I can say is I am too young to judge. But the Klash I loved the most is An Ode To The Cat…its just so awesome! So my vote goes to Mandappa. I like the idea very much and I love the use of perfect words in the perfect sync.

    Comment by Apurva Pathak — January 29, 2011 @ 9:35 am

  7. MANDAPPA, it is for me………..
    Its simply because i like it , a lil more than all the awesum work by u people

    CAN I VOTE FOR MORE THAN ONE PERSON(lol)

    Seriously its hard even if u read all of them again & again & again………

    Comment by Kshitij Agnihotri — January 28, 2011 @ 12:33 pm

  8. ahh a very beautiful name!! Sugandha!!! its like a poem in itself 🙂

    Comment by richa — January 27, 2011 @ 9:01 pm

  9. be still my heart!!! thank u for your votes folks!!! humbled!!

    Comment by richa — January 27, 2011 @ 6:04 am

  10. Wow thanks a ton.. I googled parts of your comment.. Robert Frost is definitely huge 😉
    My piece couldn’t have got a better compliment 😉

    Comment by Utsav — January 26, 2011 @ 8:47 pm

  11. Hehe thnkx evry1 for your luvly comments.. grrr 😀
    My vote goes for Richa.. 🙂

    Comment by Utsav — January 26, 2011 @ 8:44 pm

  12. sorry for the delay peoples 🙂

    NM : it’s been a while bro. it shows ur love for film. i like the take. its gentle but i woudnt say it rocked my boat .

    Daytripper: wel id say the same that someone said before… the first two verses – kick ass… the word seems a tad forced though the usage is good. .. i wont say anymore…

    Kshitij
    Nice… melancholy is a word i would use for ur take. nice. im impressed with u . uv gotten better over the new year ? it flows and provokes some nice imagery too.

    Mystical mortal: its nice. its direct. there’s something very realistic about it. i dint like the beginning to be honest. i felt u borrowed cliches. but from the 4th line onwards it really builds up.

    Utsav: its ok. i felt some parts of ur poetry were basic. the thought or idea was good but i dont think you made the best of it or expressed it the best. good try tho in parts.

    richa: stunning. in so few words. i think u couldve carried on. u really got the tempo n rhythm going… i love the end. and it did keep me wondering where it was going so i ll give u a lot of points.
    so very real, the broken dream, so ephemereal : brillianto

    sprinkles: again its nice in parts. the idea in itself is good. a couple of the verses flow freely, and a couple stumble and fall. leaving me wondering if the up and down really helps or an average through out.

    Sowmya: i like that u ve plucked this idea from politics or the newspapers or reality.. thats what i really like. and uve weaved a poem almost like u made the whole thing up. fiction non fiction blurs. nice.

    genuine fake: im guessing everyones gettin better. this ones nice but it was a good read and nothing more. it dint invoke to much otherwise. nice take though

    jenny: i love the words. the verse. the terse, the flow. the images. i like the mind behind it. even if i fully dint understand it. in my head its like a super psychedelic modern art piece which i think is awesome, even if i dint really get the nuances of it.

    doksaab: i like this style of writing cuz it seems very you. mellow yet deep. simple and clean. youll touch an inner fleeting emotion without being emotional as such.

    Apurva: its a very different take for that i ll give you points. the write itself couldve been better. nice attempt tho.

    jenny or richa….hmmmmmmm…..

    My Vote goes to RICHA

    Comment by malted socktail — January 26, 2011 @ 2:01 pm

  13. Votes so far:

    1) Richa 4 (Mystical Mortal, Daytripper)
    2) Mandappa 8 (NM, GF, Sowmya, Lord Summer)
    3) GF 2 (Sprinkles)
    4) Sowmya 2 (DokSaab)
    5) Sprinkles 2 (Richa)

    Participants yet to vote:
    Kshitij, Utsav, Jenny, Mandappa, Apurva

    Comment by The Musketeers — January 26, 2011 @ 10:32 am

  14. sorry folks…havent had time to comment on the rest of the takes!! here is my vote…it was tough between the ode to a cat and sprinkles of chatter…but finally it goes to Sprinkles of chatter 🙂 great job. i liked it was an “idea” that was ephemeral and not life 🙂

    Comment by richa — January 26, 2011 @ 8:54 am

  15. Votes so far:

    1) Richa 4 (Mystical Mortal, Daytripper)
    2) Mandappa 8 (NM, GF, Sowmya, Lord Summer)
    3) GF 2 (Sprinkles)
    4) Sowmya 2 (DokSaab)

    Participants yet to vote:
    Kshitij, Utsav, Richa, Jenny, Mandappa, Apurva

    Comment by sprinklesofchatter — January 25, 2011 @ 9:51 pm

  16. Happens with me ALL the time 🙂

    Comment by sprinklesofchatter — January 25, 2011 @ 8:54 pm

  17. Thanks a lot Jenny. Thats sooooo encouraging 🙂 I really loved the way you interpreted the whole thing. esp. “abandoned, not ended… with a thud; an emotional void.” I thought of ending it but I just could not because the dilemma of fleeting time is never ending. So I just left it and WOW…U have put my dilemma into words so beautifully.

    Comment by Mystical Mortal — January 25, 2011 @ 12:52 pm

  18. Thanks a lot Doksaab! Made my day 🙂

    Comment by S — January 25, 2011 @ 11:02 am

  19. Hello Klashers !
    Twelve takes! I am so excited! One, because Klash is getting such a big response. We are being able to attract new members in almost every Klash. This Klash we have Sarang’s two friends, Kshitiz and Apoorva, and Anamika’s friend Sugandha aka Mystical Mortal. Welkome to the Klub !
    The other reason to be excited was having NM and Jenny once again to Klash. I wonder when KS will decide to klash again!
    Sorry, I am too tied up, after returning from the ten day long vacation. This, and the so elaborate comments from Ruchika , Richa and Jenny prevent me from Kommenting. Each of the eleven takes are lovely but just to choose one for my vote, I give it to Sowmya as I could correlate more with her poem, being a denizen of Lucknow. Loved the last line, ”looking for immortality in an ephemeral world”

    Comment by DokSaab — January 25, 2011 @ 12:08 am

  20. I hin my vote in the name of the Cat-slayer.

    Comment by Great Warhorse, Lord Summer — January 24, 2011 @ 9:38 pm

  21. I did understand the ‘sitting’ bit once i sent the mail out. Didnt make changes however. Was too drained out of thoughts 😐 ..

    Comment by GF — January 24, 2011 @ 8:00 pm

  22. Thank you Ruchika! 🙂

    Comment by GF — January 24, 2011 @ 7:58 pm

  23. Richa,

    Your poem is a childlike reverie,pitter patter of raindrops strung together as words, indented. I felt like a little girl (minus the braids) waking up to a sunshine morning and a field of gold: Van Gogh’s sunflowers.Sunny side up in less than 50 words is no mean feat.

    Comment by Jenny — January 24, 2011 @ 7:50 pm

  24. Utsav

    “That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
    — Dorothy Parker

    Boy, you are a Frost Fan. What I see is an archipelago of Frost’s verse,bits of ‘ Stopping by the woods on a snowy evening’ and bites of ‘Roads not taken’.Although I like the icicles, a sense of Déjà vu could have been avoided.A decent attempt, would like to celebrate more of ‘ Utsav’ next time around.A good facsimile is not always the best option. Keep writing.

    Comment by Jenny — January 24, 2011 @ 7:16 pm

  25. i will post the rest of the comments and vote ASAP…sorry for the delay….will do so from work today..

    Comment by richa — January 24, 2011 @ 6:52 pm

  26. Mystical Mortal

    Almost a monologue;beautifully captures subliminal conflicts. Sentences doled out in a disjointed and fragmentary fashion. Love the impassive deadpan delivery of the retired bloke.

    My affinity for typically highbrowed and esoteric writing makes it a special entry. Makes me wonder if this narrator could be the contemporary version of Dostoevsky’s brooding protagonist digging too far into his own psyche.

    I love the way this piece has been abandoned, not ended… with a thud; an emotional void.

    My favorite so far.

    Comment by Jenny — January 24, 2011 @ 6:46 pm

  27. Kshitij

    What I like about your entry is that it’s written simply and is unpretentious. Very pedestrian and warm. It makes for an easy read. Probably if you peppered it with a slight dash of the rustic, native flavour, it would have sizzled. Evokes nostalgia but doesn’t push any boundaries.

    Comment by Jenny — January 24, 2011 @ 6:06 pm

  28. Thank you jenny 🙂
    The third verse did feel a little alien compared to the other two. I felt it too. But i just couldn’t go back and change it.

    Comment by Daytripper — January 24, 2011 @ 5:41 pm

  29. Daytripper:

    Absolutely loved the first two verse, impeccable use of onomatopoeia ( swoosh, swirl, croon). The poem almost opens like Audrey Hepburn, very stylish, minimal, very Givenchy.

    Fell for these lines: hook line and sinker. Lyrical and evocative

    Clutching at the bits of, now black & white smiles,
    and that lone whiskey voice that crooned.

    I felt as a piece the poem was extremely breezy even in the melancholy it evoked. The last verse made it claustrophobic.It plummets to its nemesis and loses its sheen somehow.I’d have love to see the languid fluidity continue till the very end.Still hitting on those two lines though:)

    Comment by Jenny — January 24, 2011 @ 5:36 pm

  30. NM :

    What your piece promptly does is remind the readers about Stanislavski’s deployment of affective memory to reach the emotional core of a character. Having said that I personally found the piece bereft of the grief or the magnitude of trauma it ought to have evoked. I am not a big fan of rhyme either; hence I’m further handcuffed in provide an alibi. Love the use of dialogues though. I did feel this could certainly be elevated to another level. Keep writing.

    Comment by Jenny — January 24, 2011 @ 5:26 pm

  31. Votes so far :

    1) Richa 4 (Mystical Mortal, Daytripper)
    2) Mandappa 7 (NM, GF, Sowmya)
    3) GF 2 (Sprinkles)

    Participants yet to vote:
    DokSaab, Kshitij, Utsav, Richa, Jenny, Mandappa, Apurva

    Comment by sprinklesofchatter — January 24, 2011 @ 3:27 pm

  32. I just realised…I hadn’t voted (embarrassed sheepish smile)

    My vote goes to GF. I loved her work the most. 🙂

    Comment by sprinklesofchatter — January 24, 2011 @ 3:11 pm

  33. My komments and vote –

    1.NM -Nice take but we have had better from you. Just thought the word ‘ephemeral’ and the last line did not gel with rest of the lines.

    2.Day Tripper -You have painted amazing word pictures. Lovely take

    3.Kshitij -Welcome to Klash! You have depicted the scene beautifully. With your explanations, I understood it even better.

    4.Mystical Mortal -Nice to see you have picked such a simple theme and woven the thoughts around it so well.

    5.Utsav – I am somehow not convinced with the plot. Will one look for what is ephemeral or what is not? But loved the last line -Life is definetely ephemeral

    6.Richa – It is simply superb that you can just pick a bunch of words and make such beautiful poetry of it. Fabulous!

    7. Sprinkles of chatter – You are so right – nothing is more ephemeral than an idea that just blew away. Luckily this idea for the take did not. Fantastic as always 🙂

    8. Genuine Fake – Really nice. Liked it a lot!

    9. Jenny – Your prose sounds like a lovely poem. Do give us a gist of it….not able to comprehend it

    10. DokSaab – You have put into words the deep rooted fears in all of us when we realize that time just went past by and we hardly did anything with it.

    11. Mandappa – I loved the last lines when you talk of an ephemeral life and about the 9 lives of a cat. Fabulous!

    12. Apurva – I did try to think of a positive feel to ‘ephemeral’ which you have done beautifully. Dilemmas and problems are also ephemeral. That is amazing

    My vote – Mandappa

    Comment by S — January 24, 2011 @ 2:59 pm

  34. “The new day
    So very real
    The broken dream
    So ephemeral” this one is absolutely kileer.

    Comment by Mystical Mortal — January 24, 2011 @ 10:44 am

  35. “I am not good at tying the pen names to real people”. Well Richa I can very well see that. 😀
    Nacheez ko Sugandha kehte hain 😛

    Comment by Mystical Mortal — January 24, 2011 @ 10:37 am

  36. My vote : Mandappa.
    The ode to the cat and the use of the word is fantastic!

    In detail, tomorrow 🙂

    Comment by GF — January 23, 2011 @ 10:25 pm

  37. “An ephemeral life, dusted and done” My vote : Mandappa.

    Comment by NM — January 23, 2011 @ 9:24 pm

  38. Thanks Daytripper….i am humbled by all this praise and encouragement 🙂

    Comment by richa — January 23, 2011 @ 9:20 pm

  39. Thanks for the feedback 🙂 helped me quite a bit.

    Comment by Daytripper — January 23, 2011 @ 8:44 pm

  40. My vote goes to Richa Gupta too.

    The choice of words, strung so well. The piece was perfect for me, so complete.

    Comment by Daytripper — January 23, 2011 @ 8:43 pm

  41. Thanks for your vote and for your encouragement Mystical Mortal. BTW tumhara naam kya hai Basanti?? LOL 🙂 i am sorry I am not good at tying the pen names to real people 😦
    Kshitij, that was one of my favorite lines…the waves….

    Comment by richa — January 23, 2011 @ 1:15 am

  42. Thanks all for your valuable feedback..All the entries are so inspiring. Well I wont komment about the flaws on the klashes koz i cant find any 🙂 I will do so after a kouple of more klashes after I have learned some seroius writing from all you guys. But all of you must komment on the stuff I write. i am hungry.
    I will kast my vote for the Klash I loved the most and thats Richa.
    Your selection of the words are judicious. That makes your piece so vivid yet crisp. There are a kouple of lines in all klashes that I can fish out and say that they were the best in the whole write up. But your whole piece is actually one line 🙂
    You have expressed the most with the least. loved the koncept of dream.
    My vote: Richa Gupta

    Comment by Mystical mortal — January 23, 2011 @ 1:05 am

  43. Thank You Everyone, for the elobrate comments on my work it feels so good to know that someone else has taken painstaking efforts to make you a better writer, so words seem inadequate to thank this beautiful community & i feel proud to be a part of this family now.

    a lil clarifications on my lines,

    Being with your Grandchildren is the most marvelous feeling any man/woman can possess, so i definately did not mean that, maybe the words i used could not convey my thoughts, i wanted to emphasise on the CRUTCHES.

    What i really meant was there was a time when she could roam freely & carefree however now even to get up from her chair she needs crutches

    Again, in the line “Arrogant waves offering her an apology”
    I was just trying to describe the path/cycle of a wave, it seems to be arrogant when it reaches its peak but suddenly it comes crashing down to touch your feet as if apologising.

    But seriously you guys are doing a rocking job & hope will be able to write like you people with the same suggestions & advices from your side

    thanking one & all
    Regards
    Kshitij

    Comment by kkshitij — January 22, 2011 @ 2:19 pm

  44. hey so i will follow Ruchika’s example and give my comments and vote

    NM: finally you decided to write 🙂 u have been missed my friend. i liked the opening lines “They all applauded knowing it was what he did best, he could easily fake a cry…” but the rest of the write up didnt make me feel the pathos…the intensity of the pain he must be feeling…and of course pain can be forever too….

    Day Tripper: whiskey voice what crooned!! that line is just awesome…creates in my head an image of jazzy blues being sung while your character sits in perpetual gloom. didnt get the last line “caught in an ephemeral web”?? does that mean the web and the dream are both going to disappear? the rhyming seemed effortless…kudos to you for that

    Kshitij: loved the imagery your words provoked in my head. i could almost hear the crashing of the waves and the creak of her rocking chair 🙂 the rhyming is brilliant and very smooth. the last 3 lines did not work for me though….being with grandchildren should be a happy thing no?

    Mystical Mortal: honestly it took me 3 reads before i could get the flow of the words. he fist 2 lines were brilliant and i was prepared to read about the feelings of a retired dude…but then the dilapidated theater threw me and all the “to this and to that” took some time to sink in. it is a good portrayal of a life’s progression and while some lines are absolutely awesome (to the awareness of the lull that surrounds.), some need polishing up (to the struggle to howl for a glass of water).

    Utsav: wonderful portrayal of a life wasted in search of the meaning of it till it was tool late. i could totally get the last line of walking behind ur own funeral…a lovely metaphor however the rhyming seemed forced and the line “what is ephemeral in this life” seemed repeated a bit too often.

    Comment by richa — January 21, 2011 @ 10:04 pm

  45. 🙂 this is my first klash…interestingly I have written very primitively as compared to all other overtly creative works…may be I shall improve in near future…thanks for such a warm welcome! 🙂

    Comment by Apurva — January 21, 2011 @ 11:42 am

  46. OMG…thank you sooo much for such high praise!! mera to likhna hi safal ho gaya!!yup yup am vain enough to say that LOL and i was so thinking i will not write for this word..at least not in English….bu Thank you SO much!! it has inspired me t keep writing 🙂

    Comment by richa — January 21, 2011 @ 8:22 am

  47. Couldn’t resist checking Klash the first opportunity I got to access Net at this Hotel 🙂
    Thanks Ruchika for taking charge of Klash , and the so detailed Komments!
    @Utsav, sorry for the error, I have rectified it 🙂
    Will vote and komment as soon I get back to my office 🙂

    Comment by DokSaab — January 20, 2011 @ 7:39 pm

  48. Hahahaha

    I guess WordPress still confuses DokSaab occasionally. And since it completely baffles me ALL the time, I shall ask him to deal with it when he’s back from Chennai 😉

    Comment by sprinklesofchatter — January 19, 2011 @ 7:39 pm

  49. The remaining comments… 🙂

    8 ) Genuine Fake
    As usual, I have to start by gushing about how you write so effortlessly and beautifully about love. It always resonates with me. This particular piece reminded me of Hugh Grant staring at a man in the park in “Notting Hill.” And again, like Utsav, you took me to Hardy’s work. You’re all pros. 🙂 The only thing that you could possibly note is the usage of “sitting balky” and “sat singing the blues.” They’re both the same thing. I loved this piece. 😀

    9) Jenny
    Welcome back Jenny. You were sorely missed. 🙂 I haven’t quite understood the post yet. As a result, I’ll wait for you to enlighten me or for others’ interpretations, before I comment on your work.

    10) DokSaab
    Ephemeral life. Seems like almost everyone got the same idea. And yet, isn’t is wonderful to see such different interpretations of not just the same word but also the same concept? You’ve got a good reminiscent tone. However, this take does not live upto my expectations of you. Knowing you, you could’ve done a better handling of this concept. I’m too ardent a reader of your work to know that this doesn’t connect to your kind of writing. Sorry. 🙂

    11) Mandappa
    An ode to a cat is a delightful concept. I loved reading it. Every line is very crisp and there isn’t a single word which hasn’t been used to its maximum potential. This is pure poetic genius. The entire poem had my spine tingling in the nicest sort of way. Some lines didn’t quite make complete sense to me and I can’t quite say if that is because your writing is ambiguous or because I haven’t read as extensively. Overall, the last paragraph nailed it. The last line is a clincher. Every bit of this poem pulled me in. I loved it.

    12) Apurva Pathak
    A big warm welcome to you too 🙂 I like the character portrayal. It was very enjoyable to read. The first two lines sound somewhat like a dialogue by Oscar Wilde. I love that. As a writer, I know that it’s not as easy to portray and you’ve made it look effortless. That is a mute testimony to your writing calibre. Your language has a hint of Old World English. And yet, it fits in so snugly. I like the writing style very very much. That said, even though the technique is impressive and the character shines through, somehow it lacked the punch it needed to take it from “Hey, this is quite nice” to “Oh wow!” I can’t quite put a finger on the exact reason for it. All in all, I shall read it again as it put a smile on my face.

    Comment by sprinklesofchatter — January 19, 2011 @ 7:33 pm

  50. Thanks a bunch for your feedback. It is extremely helpful to say the least 🙂 Hope to be better next time!

    Comment by S — January 19, 2011 @ 10:20 am

  51. Wow thanks I havta admit am kinda dumbstruck by the appreciation 😀
    Regarding the two lines.. ‘What is ephemeral in this life.I asked the fire, I asked the winds,” and “What is ephemeral in this life.Time, feelings, fear, love,”, I had in fact submitted them in different stanzas, which divided my poem in 4 stanzas, and I guess they being merged into one must’ve been due to some technical error. I request the admin to please correct the same. 🙂

    Comment by Utsav — January 19, 2011 @ 9:29 am

  52. 4) Mystical Mortal
    A very warm welcome to you too. I look forward to klashing with you. 🙂 You have a very good story to tell. I like the idea of a transient life. That said, I don’t quite know what I really feel for this poem. The beginning of the poem is very good. Its swift, clear and descriptive. However, the poem loses steam in the next 3 lines. Maybe “The memories flashing…” could have been less verbose. Also, “The whispers in the night while making love” is a very well written line which is completely not justified by the second half of “struggle to howl…” Maybe it’s just me, but howl doesn’t seem like a very good word to use. And again, the next 3 lines are very well done and beautifully composed. As a result, for me, this piece is very jerky (and by that I mean that it doesn’t flow well). Overall, it was a decent read. A very good first klash.

    5) Utsav
    This Klash seems to belong to you newcomers. I am so psyched at having so many new klashers! (Big toothy grin) You post hooked me from the very first line because of the throwback to Frost’s “The Road Not Taken.” I love how you’ve immediately raised the bar for your own work and then delivered so perfectly. The poem had a tune of its own and somehow, you’d managed to imbue a sense of quiet and serenity to the piece. I loved that immensely. The only way you could have made this poem better is in the last 3 lines. I don’t quite get how one walks behind a funeral. Did you mean funeral procession? It wasn’t quite clear. Also, and I’m picking at trivialities here, I request you to reconsider ‘What is ephemeral in this life.I asked the fire, I asked the winds,” and “What is ephemeral in this life.Time, feelings, fear, love,” into two sentences instead of one. It’s the only thing ruining the meter of a beautiful poem. Loved every moment of this Klash.

    6) Richa Gupta
    It’s so awesome to be writing in a Klash alongwith you 😀 😀 Your post made me green with envy. I love this kind of poetry and am always envious of all of you who manage it quite so well. The transience of dreams. Now why do I never come up with something quite so obvious and yet original. Most of us went with transience of life and you sit here so prettily with the obvious and most ephemeral of all- DREAMS! I mean- WOW.
    Now, bear with me coz I’m all gushy about your take. I loved it. Every single word was so well used. Thankyou for the joy of it. 🙂

    7) Sowmya
    A very warm welcome to the world of poetry 😀 This is so awesome. And I hope this satisfactorily answers all your questions regarding your continuing dabbling in poetry. A very crisp narrative. I love the concept and the execution. The only thing I think you need to work on is the meter. The fact that this poem doesn’t have a strict rhyme scheme works very well and in its advantage. Few poems are as fine in free verse as this one. Also, I had to re-read the poem to guess the “dialogue” parts. Maybe you could’ve put them in quotes for idiots like me 😉

    Comment by sprinklesofchatter — January 18, 2011 @ 9:49 pm

  53. Why isn’t anyone starting the commenting/voting process?

    To set the ball rolling, here are my critiques for the first three posts. 🙂
    I shall try to post the rest soon.

    I’ve been awfully busy the past few klashes to really welcome all our brilliant new klashers. So, to everyone who’s just joined in, Welcome! 🙂

    My comments for this Klash, in order of appearance:

    1) NM
    It’s always a pleasure to read your work. I love how your work invokes emotions. I particularly like your usage of “sentence-poetry.” I find that technique particularly hard and for me, your work is very nice. Its not exactly as great as the rest of your pieces that I’ve had the fortune to read. I like the idea and some lines are very crisp. However, the last line somehow didn’t quite connect to the rest of the work. It didn’t flow as fluidly as the rest of the work and that for me was a slight disappointment.

    2) Daytripper
    You my dear, are an absolute delight to read. The last few klashes have been even more entertaining and pleasurable than ever because of your takes. I love your usage of words to create colorful, vibrant images. That said, I pretty much expected something else rather than “knot in her chest” from you. That phrase is almost a cliche, and when you’ve come up with brilliant images like “fresh moisture tracks” which not only creates a good picture, but also sounds nice; “knot in the chest” seems like you cheating. I enjoyed reading your poem out loud. It was mellifluous. That is very good writing.

    On a strictly me level, I didn’t quite understand the last two lines and their import. As such, I cannot comment on how I enjoyed the “theme” coz it feels like the last two lines bind it in. I did love reading it.

    3) Kshitij Agnihotri
    Welcome to Klash. 🙂 Your kind of poetry is an absolute joy to read. An entire scene plays out infront of me. The storytelling tone was a very good touch. My only regret from your work is that some lines are slightly unclear as to the vision they’re conveying. “Arrogant waves offering her an apology” doesn’t really work for me. I don’t quite fathom how they’re apologising. The same applies to “With open arms…” When I, as a reader, feel bemused by a poem, I like to get back to it to extract the nugget of understanding that I hadn’t before. And when, even after numerous reads, I continue to be perplexed, it ruins the overall joy of the poem for me. I really enjoyed reading it. It had all the elements for it to be a resonating poem, but somewhere, it lacked.

    Comment by sprinklesofchatter — January 18, 2011 @ 2:34 pm

  54. thats alright, i guess! you wouldn’t give into mediocrity caused due to lack of time. specimen : GF. wonder where the Krown travels to now.. 😛

    Comment by GF — January 14, 2011 @ 10:21 pm

  55. Its an honour to get my post to be there with you guys, Great Write Ups, Awesome work

    Comment by kkshitij — January 14, 2011 @ 9:08 pm

  56. We miss you! Sarang.
    Presence of Nikhil is some consolation though. 🙂

    Comment by DokSaab — January 14, 2011 @ 6:06 pm

  57. So bummed about not being able to write. 😦

    Comment by Sarang — January 14, 2011 @ 4:27 pm

  58. wow…Beautiful entries, I am stupefied by the creativity and thoughts. Thanks for such a warm welcome.

    Comment by Mystical Mortal — January 13, 2011 @ 12:57 pm

  59. wow!! what lovely takes…i wasn’t even sure i could think of anything to write on this word….not only i did….so many others brought such creativity to it!! awesome!!
    Welcome to the new members to our family 🙂

    Comment by richa — January 13, 2011 @ 4:17 am

  60. All the ‘sneak peeks’ look so interesting. Really excited bout this month’s klash.

    Comment by Daytripper — January 12, 2011 @ 5:29 pm

  61. Hey Sowmya!
    Congrats 😀
    I wholeheartedly understand the joy you’re feeling at making the deadline. 😀
    For ONCE, I made it in too 😀 😀 😀

    Comment by sprinklesofchatter — January 11, 2011 @ 6:39 pm

  62. Hi, sent my entry before deadline for once. My first attempt at ‘poetry’. Do let me know if I should do it any further…

    Comment by Sowmya — January 11, 2011 @ 2:05 pm

  63. *likes*

    Comment by The Musketeers — January 7, 2011 @ 11:12 pm

  64. I know I sound like a broken record. But I SHALL send in an entry by the deadline this time 🙂
    Promise.

    Comment by sprinklesofchatter — January 7, 2011 @ 5:41 pm

  65. Its the 12th of January (we gave two weeks from the day of announcing the word).
    But then its just a date, it can be extended if we expect more people to join.

    Comment by The Musketeers — January 6, 2011 @ 11:23 pm

  66. Till when is the deadline???

    Comment by sprinklesofchatter — January 6, 2011 @ 9:43 pm

  67. The pic’s provided by Ana along with the word 🙂

    Comment by The Musketeers — January 1, 2011 @ 10:16 am

  68. Love the picture! 🙂

    Comment by Sarang — January 1, 2011 @ 10:07 am


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